Random acts of factuality

Seven Things I Like

1.  My kids’ sense of humor

2.  Classic Saturday Night Live (Murphy, Radner, Chase, Belushi)

3. Purple “M’s”  – Whether it’s a book mark, post its or whatever, if I see a purple “M”, I must purchase it.

4.  Watching new mothers and babies acquaint themselves with one another (That “I know you” look is just the most precious thing ever.)

5.  Ice in my cereal

6.  Turning brown in the summer

7.  Driving with the moon

Seven Things I Sort Of Envy In People

1.  People with big eyes (I love eyeshadow, yet I have such small space in which to put it)

2.  Borderline obnoxious tech savvy

3.  Size 7.5 shoes

4.  Poker faces

5.  Frugal mind sets

6.  Perpetual optimists

7.  Serene voices

Seven Things (Not People) I Can’t Do Without

1. At least one novel

2. A notebook

3.  A pen

4.  A thesaurus

5.  Coffee

6.  My iPod

7.  Lipgloss

Seven Bad Habits I Am Working to Change

1.  Bored gnoshing

2.  Nervous nail trimming

3.  Not adhering to a sleep/wake schedule

4. Cussing

5.  Forgetting to wash my face before I go to bed at night

6.  Seeing projects through to completion

7.  Skipping the gym

Seven Celebs I Consider the Bees Knees In Style

1.  Dita Von Teese (The word “immaculate” comes to mind)

2.  Sean Combs

3.  Shawn Carter

4.  Angela Basset

5.  Rhianna

6.  Charlize Theron

7.  Gabrielle Union (does she ever have a bad anything day?)

Seven Things I Would Change About the World

1.  Socialism would not be a dirty word.  I believe that if a man works hard, he should unapologetically reap the reward of said work.  However, I also believe in a moral obligation to help those who can not help themselves.

2.  “I would open every cell in Attica, send them to Africa.”  Maybe not EVERY cell, but the psychological impact of not knowing where you are from is mind blowing.  This little blurb would do no justice to my rationale, so I’ll bookmark this thought for a future post.

3.  Higher education would not be viewed as a luxury.

4.  Swimming pools in the hood.  Far too many of our black children don’t know how to swim and it’s partially because they have no access to pools.

5.  No more fat hairy guys in porn – except maybe for fat hairy guy fetish porn.  Everybody is liked by somebody, right?

6.  I would commission the top scientists to work on the perfect strapless bra for the busty woman

7.  Three words:  self cleaning windows.

Seven Authors I Adore

1.  James Baldwin

2.  Toni Morrison

3.  William Shakespeare

4.  J. California Cooper

5.  James Patterson

6.  Alice Walker

7.  Nikki Giovanni

Seven Favorite Past-times (That Do NOT Involve My Children, Reading or Writing)

1.  Flirting (It makes me all warm and tingly.)

2.  Playing with makeup (I don’t need it, but I love to have fun with it.)

3.  Watching cartoons (I had a well stocked Disney collection long before I had children)

4.  Cooking (I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to cook delicious meals…the cleaning up, not so much)

5.  Starting conversations with strangers.  Nothing keeps my confabulatory shit quick like bantering with someone I’ve never met.  Sometimes, I even learn a little bit.

6.  Shopping.  Duh…I have a vagina.

7.  Cussing (Yes.  I realize the contradiction.  It’s just that I’m so muthafucking artful with the shit.)

Seven Things I Like About Myself

1.  I’m brave.

2.  I’m direct.  You don’t have to wonder with me.  If I dislike you, you know it.  If I love you, you know it.  If I’ve gotta fart, you know it.  You know these things, because, if the opportunity presents itself, I tell you.

3.  For some reason, I have athletic calves and I don’t think they look too shabby in skirts.

4.  I love to look out for people.

5.  My smile could melt the polar ice cap.

6.  I’m smart as hell.

7.  I’m ambitious and determined.

Seven Things I Changed My Mind About

1.  Money – I’ve had little and I’ve had lots.  I was still Mel on the inside.  Plus, there have been times of little where I never felt more loved, and times of plenty where I never felt more lonely.  There’s more to life, and I’ve just gotta roll with the punches.

2.  Marriage – Once I saw an old couple in the mall with matching Pistons windbreakers (is that not the most hilarious term) and Shell Toes.  They were incredibly cute, and it tugged at the part of me that really yearned for that sort of thing.  But nobody’s guaranteed that.  At least when I’m single, I know where I stand.  Once I end my celibacy, I’ll just occasionally take a lover and be done with it.

3.  Lil Wayne – It’s a New Orleans thing.  To quote Stewie Griffin, “I don’t have to fucking impress you.”

4.  Sushi – Five years ago, if you would have told me that I would be chowing on raw fish like it had “the antidote,” I would have called you a liar.  The same goes for calamari and rabbit.

5.  Pet Ownership – That’s some old bullshit.  I’m not interested in taking care of living things that do not speak in complete sentences.

6.  John McCain – I once believed that he was an admirable person with whom I only had conflicting views.  Who knew he was an ass puppet.

7.  Myself – I think I’m stronger than I know, if that makes sense.

Seven Things In Store for 2009

1. Barack Obama’s Inauguration

2.  Winning the Boston Review Short Story contest

3.  My first trip to South Africa

4.  Preparing to purchase my first home

5.  Going to my friends’ wedding (and showing much thigh on the beach) in Cancun.

6.  Becoming conversational in French.

7.  Finishing my SECOND novel.

What time is it?

You know how I do on Wednesdays!  I can’t say that I appreciate these wenches putting their hands on my man, but bills don’t pay themselves yo.

And when you’re dealing with the G.O.A.T., you really can’t have just one go ’round.

“Your kisses are as wicked as an M16…”

This is a very teriffic song, and I think this will make up for my not posting yesterday.  I’ve got about ten drafts, so hopefully I’ll finish one of them today.  I’ve been a little selfish and doing some work on my own projects, because, one of my wise friends recently told me, “If I were you, I would be taking myself very seriously right about now.”  I think I’m paraphrasing, but you get the point.

Lazy Southern Sundays

Subtitled “It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity”

As much as I love autumn – and make no mistake, I love autumn – sometimes, I miss those unseasonably hot days in October and November that you can only get in the DEEP south.  An unexpected cookout simply because the temp is 87 is sometimes just what the doctor ordered.

This will sound weird, but there’s something both sultry and electric about the heat of the south.  Not only because everyone gets half naked (country boys washing their cars in wifebeaters…good lord!) but also because it makes everything go a little slower, a little easier, a little softer.  I remember taking a trip to the country with my mom around my birthday.  I was in a tank top, jean shorts and some jellies.  My feet stank to be damned – just HELLACIOUS.  But, that’s autumn in the south.

it’s strange, the things you miss.

just b

“Even though the birds ain’t singin, and the sun ain’t shinin…”

“…it looks like a beautiful morning.”

– “Beautiful Morning” Little Brother

So, I discovered Friday night that there is a major setback in my routine.  A setback that would usually reduse me to tears and cry out asking why I have been forsaken.  But I know my life, and I know that for whatever reason, the universe has to keep me on my toes.  Considering our economy, I’m sort of glad that I know what it’s like to be focused on my grind and make a dollar out of fifteen cents.  Your girl can DO the damn thing with some beans, ya heard me.  I won’t even talk about how I can get down with some chicken thighs and lemon pepper.

I should totally be asleep, particularly considering that I like to watch reruns of “The Practice” early on Sunday mornings, but I typically wake up early anyway.  I feel so accomplished, because i did everything that was on my list today.  It kept me busy, but I don’t have the beat-down feeling I was anticipating.

Quick!  Five things worse than that movie “The Cookout?”  Wasn’t it just DEPLORABLE.

While we’re on the topic of public tragedies, GARY BUSEY!  Holy shit.  I talk to my kids about drugs regularly, and my children being my children, ask me the whys and wherefores of why drug abuse is bad.  Gary Busey was on television.  I pointed to that.  This dude has been off coke, according to him, for longer than my son has been alive, and yet he is still totally off his nut.  Astounding.

I think it’s time to go to sleep now.


That pic defines me to a tee – all purple, and fiery at the center.  Four weeks to go until my 32nd throw-down.  I’ve got the hot outfit and the HAWTER shoes.  My daughter is very excited about me going out and having fun.  Partially because she’s going to spend the night at my coworker’s house (whom she loves) and partially because, “You know, you need to make sure you have fun mommy.”  I kind of take that to mean that I’ve been a good mother; but that also means, I’ve been a bad self.  I need to have some grown up fun too.  There are times I feel so much older than 31.  For me to have a memory in my life where I wasn’t taking care of someone, I would literally have to go back to kindergarten.  So, cheers to me for living like a young woman…even if it’s just for the night…a month from now.

I wanted to take my darlings to the Pumpkin Festival today, but it’s going to rain like the Dickens.  If worst comes to worst, I’ll take them to see “High School Musical 3″…and die a little inside.

I’m working on my weekend “MUST-Do” list, and it’s looking like no joke.  Busy weekends like this, I wish I had family close by…or at least a washer and dryer in my home.  Plus, I’m one of the slowest moving people you will ever meet.  My life’s cruise control is set on “Louisiana Country Pace” and the Fourth of July has to go off under my ass for me to get out of that.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to be taking a leisurely nap.  Then I plan to wake up, make a pot roast for dinner, and hang out with my homegirl Stella Artois.  I also think I’m going to watch Reservoir Dogs.  I’m not sure how long I’ve had the DVD, but I’ve never watched the movie.  Don’t judge me.  I feel sort of weird about not having posted yesterday, but ah well, I’m sure I’ll make up for it today.

Politics up in dis bish!

Politics and this blog don’t really go together.  I make sure that I stay abreast of what’s going on.  I have my own opinions about what’s going on.  I hope that Barack Obama wipes the proverbial floor with John McCain.  I hope a moose tramples Sarah Palin, but not so that she dies.  I just want it to maybe crush her larynx so that she can’t say anything else.  Ever.  But at the end of it all, this is my take (and a halfway explanation about why I don’t really post political stuff here:

We live in a world (not only a country, but a WORLD) that is excessively corrupt and dishonest.  Money is what talks, and people that have it will always do their damnedest to further their own agendas.  Even the things we see and hear are what THEY want us to see and hear.  So I keep up with what’s current (there’s really not much “new” about the news) and leave it at that. I discuss it in passing with my friends and family, but, I can’t say that it’s a topic that I necessarily enjoy.  The other day I was talking to my boss, and I told her the type of thinker I am was, “whichever side of the brain that has nothing to do with organization and politics.”

Some of the time, I chastise myself for not having more substance; other times, I feel like substance is relative.  I think there are more than enough people that can eloquently wax political.  Some of them are in my links to the right.  I go to them when I need it.  I’m hoping that they come here when they need, uh, whatever it is that I provide.

The reason behind the video?  I’m just in one of those wandering moods. And it’s just a beautiful song.

Excogitations of a Post Modern Maverick

I had a post all planned out.  It was a little morose, because I had a HELLACIOUS morning.  Life’s clusterfucks should not be allowed to rear their ugly heads prior to 10:45.  So I was roaming around, feeling all blue about this that and the third.  (I had only gotten to positive visualization #2 before the morning went to shit.)  So I sat at this very computer, and composed the most beautifully worded tale of woe typed by human fingers.  Were I able to detach myself from myself, I probably would have given myself some ass after reading it.  Such a tender soul is truly deserving of the utmost affection, right?  And yet, just as I was about to click “Publish”, I paused and said, “Bitch, you are NOT about to post this shit.”  Yes.  I call myself a bitch in my inner monologue.  I decided to wait until after I ate, and if I was still feeling the same after lunch, I would post it.  Thank God for sauteed spinach and grilled chicken.

I’m giving myself 12 months to get it together.  So, in honor of my birthday, one of my presents to myself is…myself.  I’m giving myself my undivided attention.  That includes celibacy, which means, by extension in 2008, I probably won’t be dating.  (Mark, I swear if you make one comment, I’m going to hunt you down and make you eat your underwear.)  For those who have scoffed, I successfully did this a few years back.  I met, and exceeded the allotted time (because, let’s be honest, after you’ve been keeping it to yourself for a year, when that time has elapsed, you don’t exactly fling it off the back of a truck).  I remember dating a charming guy during that time, who graciously said, “I respect what you’re doing, and that’s cool, as long as I’m not the only one you’re not giving it to.”  That lasted for a couple of weeks.  (I’ll give you guys credit.  Sometimes, you start out with some really good intentions.)

Today, I finished reading a book that really had me going, until I got to the end.  I’m sure I will be quoting it in the coming months, but it kind of took the wind out of my sails.  I was really pulling for her, because I drew so much from my own experience.  But the end sort of said, “You’re fooling yourself kid.  Every chick wants that, and the more you try to pull away from it, the more you’ll want it to.  Stop wasting your time.”  Eventually, I’ll post something that will make sense of this paragraph.  In theory, I could now, but I’m tired of blogging.  And I have to pee.

just b

I feel

Like I’m in a blanket, fresh out of the dryer, watching my favorite movie and drinking delicious cocoa with fat marshmallows, with a dollop of dark Dominican rum. I’m coming to the conclusion that I can’t control what I think, but I can control how I think about it.  I am learning how to be sad about something, without being depressed by it, you feel me?  My latest exercise is to use five positive adjectives for how I want my day to turn out.

There isn’t even much rhyme and reason to this post.  I just feel like I’ve got sunshine pouring out of me, and I figured I would share it.