Random acts of factuality

Seven Things I Like

1.  My kids’ sense of humor

2.  Classic Saturday Night Live (Murphy, Radner, Chase, Belushi)

3. Purple “M’s”  – Whether it’s a book mark, post its or whatever, if I see a purple “M”, I must purchase it.

4.  Watching new mothers and babies acquaint themselves with one another (That “I know you” look is just the most precious thing ever.)

5.  Ice in my cereal

6.  Turning brown in the summer

7.  Driving with the moon

Seven Things I Sort Of Envy In People

1.  People with big eyes (I love eyeshadow, yet I have such small space in which to put it)

2.  Borderline obnoxious tech savvy

3.  Size 7.5 shoes

4.  Poker faces

5.  Frugal mind sets

6.  Perpetual optimists

7.  Serene voices

Seven Things (Not People) I Can’t Do Without

1. At least one novel

2. A notebook

3.  A pen

4.  A thesaurus

5.  Coffee

6.  My iPod

7.  Lipgloss

Seven Bad Habits I Am Working to Change

1.  Bored gnoshing

2.  Nervous nail trimming

3.  Not adhering to a sleep/wake schedule

4. Cussing

5.  Forgetting to wash my face before I go to bed at night

6.  Seeing projects through to completion

7.  Skipping the gym

Seven Celebs I Consider the Bees Knees In Style

1.  Dita Von Teese (The word “immaculate” comes to mind)

2.  Sean Combs

3.  Shawn Carter

4.  Angela Basset

5.  Rhianna

6.  Charlize Theron

7.  Gabrielle Union (does she ever have a bad anything day?)

Seven Things I Would Change About the World

1.  Socialism would not be a dirty word.  I believe that if a man works hard, he should unapologetically reap the reward of said work.  However, I also believe in a moral obligation to help those who can not help themselves.

2.  “I would open every cell in Attica, send them to Africa.”  Maybe not EVERY cell, but the psychological impact of not knowing where you are from is mind blowing.  This little blurb would do no justice to my rationale, so I’ll bookmark this thought for a future post.

3.  Higher education would not be viewed as a luxury.

4.  Swimming pools in the hood.  Far too many of our black children don’t know how to swim and it’s partially because they have no access to pools.

5.  No more fat hairy guys in porn – except maybe for fat hairy guy fetish porn.  Everybody is liked by somebody, right?

6.  I would commission the top scientists to work on the perfect strapless bra for the busty woman

7.  Three words:  self cleaning windows.

Seven Authors I Adore

1.  James Baldwin

2.  Toni Morrison

3.  William Shakespeare

4.  J. California Cooper

5.  James Patterson

6.  Alice Walker

7.  Nikki Giovanni

Seven Favorite Past-times (That Do NOT Involve My Children, Reading or Writing)

1.  Flirting (It makes me all warm and tingly.)

2.  Playing with makeup (I don’t need it, but I love to have fun with it.)

3.  Watching cartoons (I had a well stocked Disney collection long before I had children)

4.  Cooking (I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE to cook delicious meals…the cleaning up, not so much)

5.  Starting conversations with strangers.  Nothing keeps my confabulatory shit quick like bantering with someone I’ve never met.  Sometimes, I even learn a little bit.

6.  Shopping.  Duh…I have a vagina.

7.  Cussing (Yes.  I realize the contradiction.  It’s just that I’m so muthafucking artful with the shit.)

Seven Things I Like About Myself

1.  I’m brave.

2.  I’m direct.  You don’t have to wonder with me.  If I dislike you, you know it.  If I love you, you know it.  If I’ve gotta fart, you know it.  You know these things, because, if the opportunity presents itself, I tell you.

3.  For some reason, I have athletic calves and I don’t think they look too shabby in skirts.

4.  I love to look out for people.

5.  My smile could melt the polar ice cap.

6.  I’m smart as hell.

7.  I’m ambitious and determined.

Seven Things I Changed My Mind About

1.  Money – I’ve had little and I’ve had lots.  I was still Mel on the inside.  Plus, there have been times of little where I never felt more loved, and times of plenty where I never felt more lonely.  There’s more to life, and I’ve just gotta roll with the punches.

2.  Marriage – Once I saw an old couple in the mall with matching Pistons windbreakers (is that not the most hilarious term) and Shell Toes.  They were incredibly cute, and it tugged at the part of me that really yearned for that sort of thing.  But nobody’s guaranteed that.  At least when I’m single, I know where I stand.  Once I end my celibacy, I’ll just occasionally take a lover and be done with it.

3.  Lil Wayne – It’s a New Orleans thing.  To quote Stewie Griffin, “I don’t have to fucking impress you.”

4.  Sushi – Five years ago, if you would have told me that I would be chowing on raw fish like it had “the antidote,” I would have called you a liar.  The same goes for calamari and rabbit.

5.  Pet Ownership – That’s some old bullshit.  I’m not interested in taking care of living things that do not speak in complete sentences.

6.  John McCain – I once believed that he was an admirable person with whom I only had conflicting views.  Who knew he was an ass puppet.

7.  Myself – I think I’m stronger than I know, if that makes sense.

Seven Things In Store for 2009

1. Barack Obama’s Inauguration

2.  Winning the Boston Review Short Story contest

3.  My first trip to South Africa

4.  Preparing to purchase my first home

5.  Going to my friends’ wedding (and showing much thigh on the beach) in Cancun.

6.  Becoming conversational in French.

7.  Finishing my SECOND novel.

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5 responses to “Random acts of factuality

  1. If you fleshed this out this could very easily become something that people would pay to read (even though you’ve changed your mind about money). This could be one of those books that makes people feel deeper after having read it. SEVEN THINGS. It’s even got a good ring to it. If you don’t turn this into something I think I might kick you in the balls.

  2. thanks. and worry not about deep my friend. it’s YOUR sevens, ya know.

    now if there just happens to be a “seven coolest things people have ever done for me” list, i wouldn’t complain if it said something like, “once a brilliant literary goddess talked her friend into putting up some old school JYD on youtube.” or whatever, as long as i am introduced as a brilliant literary goddess, i don’t much care.

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