Single and Not Dating

OMG!  Men suck so bad.  No.  Really.  Yall do.  I was talking to my big bro this past week, and I told him that dating would be easier if I met guys that interested me. I tried being the girlfriend type, and it’s really just bogus.  I think that in the age of secret internet lives, the concept of loyalty is lost, so I’m just not inclined to play the good girlfriend role, when basically, I know how you dudes act on the net.  Don’t front.  You know what you do.

Now, I’m not saying that chicks aren’t living foul too, but I’m not fucking with chicks, so discussing what they do in this post is a waste space and time.  I’ll leave that to some annoyed dude to do.  I can’t do EVERYTHING you know.

So, I’ve been going out more lately, and according to 5’5, I’ve been on fire.  Eh, dudes like me.  Throughout my whole life, I’ve NEVER seen my issue as being unattractive to guys.  Even though I seem to have the perpetual screw face (I can’t help it.  I look like an evil feline/rodent hybrid), dudes dig it.  I’ve got the spark and I definitely know what to do with it.  That being said, dudes tend to not know what to do with me.  And I think it’s partially because they don’t know how to act.

Case in point, last weekend I was out, and as soon as I walked in the door, I was spotted.  He was cute, not a bad dancer, good times.  We occasionally chatted it up, so when he asked me for my number, I figured, “What the hell.”  “I really want to see you tonight.  You’re saying all that is for me?”

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!

Into what parallel universe did I stumble, where giving someone your number means you’re fully prepared to do the butt naked pole vault?  I’m no dummy, I’m sure he didn’t approach me for my mind.  I also don’t expect to make meaningful connections while I’m “singing about balls in the club.” But because I told a joke and danced with you, that don’t mean we fuckin.  Not even close.

My booty call/late night hook up dues have been paid in full, I’m I have no interest in regressing to that.  I’ve been the reactionary girl who acted out due to hurt, or generalized fear of loneliness.  I’m honest enough with myself and others to say that is not what I want for myself.  There are women that do, and I don’t knock their hustle.  Different strokes for different folks.  Additionally, people have to find their own way and what works for them.  But don’t turn up your lips when I tell you that you’re barking up the wrong tree. The drama and generalized extra that comes with it is really not what I’m trying to get involved with at 32.

I’m not going to ask why he has to go there.  I think that’s silly question.  I won’t even ask why it happens to me.  I’m acutely aware of the fact that I look like I enjoy to get down (much to my chagrin).  But I will say it’s a sad state of affairs when the only way people know how to express themselves is through their genitals.  And if you’re stepping this way with that mentality, I hate to break it to you, but I’m above your pedigree.

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5 responses to “Single and Not Dating

  1. I understand all too well what you are talking about here. Especially the secret lives thing…

    In the end, we have to not only create the standards by which we plan to measure potential partners, but we have to uphold them. We can’t just put it in writing, but not into action.

    I’m working on that myself…

  2. You know I am all about suggesting solutions (even though you shoot down most of them). How about you do like that comedian said and bring one of your books to the club. Next time a guy comes up with that look in his eye tell him read a chapter underlining the subject once and the predicate twice. If he doesn’t ask where the pictures are he might have potential.

  3. Umm…I’m gonna have to correct you. If you really think that you have the screw face on when you’re in the club, I’m gonna start walking around with a mirror taped to my back so you can see what you really look like.

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