To say that this week has been tumultuous would be an understatement. It started off with a snowstorm. More specifically, it started off with me driving to the metro in a snowstorm, with my two children in tow. Can I tell you that I almost wrecked the Hyundai with the butterfly doors? I’ve had only a few butt puckering moments, but driving in that snowstorm with my chocolate treasures in the back seat definitely rank high on that list.
So Monday, I bring the babies to the gig with me; because if I’m going to be stuck anywhere in a snowstorm, it’s going to be with my babies! We ended up staying at my job until 10 pm. They watched television while Mama MADE THAT MONAAAAAY. I came to the realization that part of the reason I go in to work is to get peace. Lord, I had to hear “Mama” all day long. it damn near took me out of this world. I spent half the time suppressing the urge to say “Sit your monkey ass down and let me hustle up this video game money!” Since I worked so late, not only did my children get to eat on the firm, but they also got the firm’s contracted car service to ride us to the parking lot. They were really feeling like big shit.
Tuesday was another story. I may or may not have discussed this here, but my sister was recently married. now, I do not typically put too much of my business here, and I will afford the same courtesy to my sister. However, I will say this. Her husband got out of pocket in a MAJOR way. I mean a way that has caused great concerns on several levels. In my humble/royal opinion, the situation did not really “resolve.” And the way it did come to a conclusion disturbed me greatly. As much as I want my sister to succeed, I do not have positive feelings about this man, and I would feel like less than a sister if I did not express that. She does read my blog from time to time, so I’m sure she knows that I’m coming from a place of love. I’m also not saying anything here that I did not say to her.
Now, I can give him the benefit of the doubt, in that he knows neither me, nor how I operate, but I did have to provide a crash course. I don’t like confrontation, and I don’t like conflict. But there are times in your life where you have to pull out the bud nippers and sasy, “I want to give of myself, but you are encroaching on what is mine, and I need you to return to your corner.” Because there are people who do not know what the boundaries are. I’m sure that it had an impact on our relationship, but when something has to be said, it has to be said. I carried that shit on my shoulders until last night, which also bothered me, because I pride myself on being the bounceback kid.
So last night, Artemis gave me a call, and i was SOOOOOO glad to hear from her. It had probably been over a week since we had spoken. We chewed the fat and I came to a realization.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have returned to The Luscious. For those of you who don’t know what the Luscious is, it’s a state of heart and mind. It’s my walk, my talk, my aura and my swag. The Luscious is how I embrace my friends, and repel what ain’t mine. I told my sister, “You know, i’ve got a long way to go, but it’s hard for me to explain how happy I am. And I know that whatever I’m feeling, it’s deep, because on the surface, I have no reason to be any happier than I would be on any other average Thursday.” Yall, I’m smiling when I wake up, I’m putting on the colorful lipgloss. I’m buttering my body to delicious softness on a regular basis. The kid is BACK. And I don’t know when I came back, but let me tell you: TIME IS A HEALER.
And the reason I know that the Luscious is in full swing, the bees are buzzin around this honey. And I just don’t mean men in a sexual manner. I mean I’m on the page with my friends. My kids and I are having some of our greatest times ever. I’m even connecting with strangers. Last week, I was reloading my SmarTrip card, and i got into a brief, but very friendly conversation, with a lady at the machine. We laughed and talked as we waited in line and conducted our business. As we parted, she shook my hand and said, “What’s your name?” I told her, and that really touched my heart. In that brief conversation, that lady felt enough of a good spirit in me that she wanted to shake my hand, and learn my name in the event that she would see me again. I know some might think I’m crazy, but in a world where everybody and their grandmammy wants to get all in your shit, there’s somethign that did my heart good in knowing that lady just wanted to know who I was. That made me feel very beautiful.
Part of this healing has enabled me to reconnect with old friends. I’ve been in regular contact with two of my homegirls from high school. One of my dearest friends and I have a promise to meet for lunch at least once a month, given we both live in the DMV. But a funny thing is that I reconnected with a person that I believed would never again be in my life. I spoke to *gasp Him.
Oh yes, precious, “Him”. My puppy love. I once thought that the sun rose and set on his very ass. I finally had the opportunity to apologize. I don’t have a lot of bad karma under my belt, but the way things happend between he and I, yeah…he was owed a weighty apology.
But the beautiful thing about talking to him wasn’t that I was talking to my old boyfriend. I was laughing and joking with my FRIEND. Because you see, even without the relationship, this dude was my friend, and I lost that. Have you ever lost a friend. I don’t mean that bitch that you sometimes get a drink with and fight over men. I don’t mean that dude you play Madden with and you occasionally smoke up his weed. I mean, have you lost the friend who KNEW you? Your idiosyncrasies, your fears, your buttons? I lost my friend. And the worst part is that it was really something I caused. Joking with my friend is like finding a 20 in a hidden flap in your purse on a non payday Friday.
What’s my point? Love, in all its forms, is a beautiful thing. And The Luscious thinks that there’s nothing more delicious than love. If I keep up with all this positive energy, The Luscious is gonna get fat.