Doesn’t Mo’Nique always look like she’s reading from the sick and shut in list when she speaks for an extended period? “And we will lift Sister But-er-um in pray-er…” I didn’t hear her Oscar acceptance speech, but I saw a flash on the news, and that’s how it was going in my mind.
I’m so ornery lately. I make an effort to not be overly negative, but when everything seems to work on your nerves, what’s a girl to do. I’ll tell you what: You throw them hoes the side eye. It’s not always beneficial for me to use my words to express what’s on my mind. I throw side eyes like ninja stars.
I believe in allowing the do-over. But even with that, there are two things you can’t take back: hurtful words, and prison-escapee farts in public bathrooms.
I hate arbitrary Facebook groups, fandom, and stupid quizzes. Even when I’m in a good mood, I hate to see them. I mean, every once in a while, I guess it’s okay. I won’t even police what “every once in a while is,” because we’re all grown folks. You know what’s excessive. I’m also calling a moratorium on that “Wifey/Sidepiece/Jumpoff” quiz. Icant.org.
This morning, I walked out the door and accidentally locked it, whilst my son was still inside. When he emerged, he shouted, “Why you gotta lock the black man up?” He is now for sale.
Will Smith used to be my boo. Now he’s touching the Karate Kid. Why is he touching the Karate Kid. Remember when filmmakers used to have a new idea, then the would write a script based on said new idea, and people would watch the movie? Yeah. That was cool.
Man, sometimes, shit gets rough, and you just gotta put some Tussin on it. Pull out that Tussin and let it get all up in there. Tussin works best when you let it sink down to the bone, or so I’ve been told.