Things You Should Probably Care About

…if you want to know anything about me.  Yeah. I baited you in.  Thought I was gonna get deep, didn’t you?  It’s Tuesday. Loosen up.

I go on benders.  Typically not harmful ones (despite my well document affection for pie), but I tend to do things in waves.  If I jump into crossword puzzles, whenever I have down time, I’m in a crossword puzzle.  This also goes for Sudoku, Scrabble and Spider Solitaire.  At least I don’t smoke rocks.

Periodically, I do Google searches on Lauryn Hill, because I always think, “Damn shame.  What happened there?”  There’s really no answer, other than (PERSONAL OPINION ALERT) whatever undiagnosed (or well hidden diagnosed) mental or personality disorder she has.  That being said, I don’t think all of her rantings are without merit.  People tend to take liberties once they believe no one will believe the rantings of “Crazy So and So.”  That being said, she is crazy as catshit, and all the research in the world hasn’t pointed me to the precise moment when things went “left” for her.  Lately, even when she’s looking “nice,” she’s still go the crazy eyes.  Maybe if The Dialectic would do that post, I’d achieve some clarity.

I hate the term “closure,” and believe it to be a farce.  People who want closure are typically those who have not let go of the past and come to accept things as they are.  Life can be really sweet sometimes, but others, it can be double fisted and thorny.  Get your protective gear on, lick your wounds and keep it moving.  And I know that sometimes, that’s the hardest thing in the world.  But no good can come from rehashing a situation that has turned toxic.  You can’t heal until you remove yourself from the source of the hurt.  It’s scary, but I promise, all will be well.

I have bought Toni Morrison’s Paradise at least four times.  This is because whenever someone tells me they haven’t read it, and express interest, I give it to them.  Yes.  The book is that good.  She is that good.  When people try to convince me that she isn’t, I give them a very dismissive, “Okay then,” and keep it moving.

I have to get out more.  It’s unequivocally my own fault, but it’s a matter of doing it.  I don’t know when I became this hermit, because I love my friends and I love being social.  I am annoyed with my weight though.  I don’t want to have to bring BOTH stomachs to the club.  No bitches.  We can’t all party. One of you must stay home.  I’m not having it.

Sunshades in dark places are totally unacceptable to me.  Frankly, I’m not a fan of sunshades at all.  Not being able to see a person’s eyes disturbs me greatly; particularly in a conversation.  Our eyes are what makes or breaks our faces, so to hide them makes me uncomfortable.  I know about that UV ray stuff and such, so I understand their necessity, but once we’re out of the sun, lose ’em.  That goes for at night, in the club, underground, at your mama’s house, and all the other places that you think inappropriate sunshade adornment makes you look cool.

I love professional massages.  I’m always intrigued by that tingly feeling you get, where they say your body is freeing itself from the toxins tied up in your muscles.  That being said, I have yet to have a full body massage.  I’ll get half naked for strangers.  I AM from New Orleans, you know.  The fully naked thing, I just can’t do.  Maybe my mind will changed once I’m svelte and sexy again.  Hopefully, I don’t become a full out exhibitionist.  But you won’t care, because I’ll be sexy!

Sorry I’ve kind of neglected you guys this past week. I’m back on the ball and ready to rock now.  Cooking up a few topics in the old noodle, so stay tuned.

Smooches!

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5 responses to “Things You Should Probably Care About

  1. Remind me to tell you my theory on people who need closure for everything.

    We are living in the era of ugly sunglasses. I saw a sister at the stoplight today and she looked like a blond haired bumblebee because her shades covered everything from ear to ear.

  2. Cliff is so funny…lol
    I can’t do a full body massage yet either.
    I’d feel kinda funny with some random person rubbing on my booty.

  3. Never read Ms. Morrison’s Paradise, and I’m interested…but please don’t buy me a copy; just remind me to cop my own. Cosign the socially inhibiting weight-gain factors. I now loathe the beach. Oh…and I call my nephew a jackass everytime I see him wearing his Kenneth Cole sunshades indoors (and I must mention that they are Kenneth Cole…because he ALWAYS mentions that they are Kenneth Cole).

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