Look but…

DON’T TOUCH!

I’m not sure how to approach this topic without sounding like a total bitch, so I’ll just go in.

Fellas, I know it’s hard enough to approach a woman.  It’s like face to face cold calling.  It’s tough, I get it.  Truth be told, a little awkwardness is fine – cute even.  However, some things must not be done.  THOU SHALT NOT GRAB AN UNFAMILIAR WOMAN.  I do not mean don’t shake her hand, or even a light touch on the arm.  These are ways that people show interest, and that’s fine.  What isn’t fine is pulling/yanking me away from wherever I’m standing, then cornering me so I can’t get away.  That was fine for the cavemen, but now they call that kidnapping, which I’m quite sure will get you federal time.

Let it also be stated for the record that never, in my history of being grabbed, has the grabber not turned out to be a 360 degree BUGABOO!  Calling, texting, emailing and IMing all damn day and night.  These guys need to be deposed by DeAndre Cole.  That maneuver tells me, “You’re going to discover that I’m lame, and when you do, I don’t want you to be able to run.”

On it’s face, this seems like typical male-bashing banter, but it’s not.  Not ALL dudes do this.  Maybe I should be thankful, because right off the bat, the lame slip is showing, but I’m not.  I don’t LIKE being pulled.  I can’t imagine any other chick does either.  If I add carrying a razor to the equation of my life, cornering me may be unwise.  If a chick wants to talk to you, she WILL; if she doesn’t, KEEP IT MOVING.  Totally understandable that you would want to be a part of all this (I’m only half joking – I’m inherently cool and I’ve got a GREAT beer stash), but I’m pro-choice in all things, including where I stand when I talk to you.  Ease up lil homie.

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One response to “Look but…

  1. Mamba…I can almost understand why a guy would act out on the compulsion to grab at you, however, If only they knew what I know, they’d KEEP IT MOVING indeed! LOL!

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