If I were forced to provide a favorite word, “fruition” would be that word. Even before you get to the meaning, it just sounds divine. The entire notion of realizing one’s dream, destiny or potential is one of the most appealing prospects to me. I am a woman who enjoys the journey, but I also appreciate that moment that says “this is why you did all of that.” Fruition is what fuels award ceremonies, recitals, graduations and even good parenting. We work hard to see some sort of benefit for our hard work. The reason so many people quit school, jobs and even relationships, is because they feel unfulfilled. Who wants to rise each day with their own personal universe devoid of progress and passion? A life without inspiration is no life at all.
I’m cool with that. But what if you’re lacking passion? What if you see yourself on a path that will not bear fruit? Do you just resign yourself that this is the way it’s going to be? Do you give up and scrap the whole plan? I’ve built from ground zero more than a few times in my life, and I see a certain benefit in that. However, sometimes, the plan isn’t the problem. I think we need to be more willing to salvage the functional parts and scrap what doesn’t work.
This is coming from my realization that there have been certain facets of my east coast plan that haven’t quite worked out as I would have liked. Part of me has thought, “Well, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You’ve made it five years in a foreign land. Let’s pack it in and bring it back to the 504. Maybe having your family around will make going back to school easier. Maybe you’ll get the breathing room to finish your book.” Yet, I think that would be a grave mistake. Just because it’s not perfect, it doesn’t mean that great things have not happened to me here. I’ve made great friends who are family to me now. And the easy way isn’t always the right way. We all need support, but I can’t expect my hand to be held all the way through to greatness. It’s time for the big girl drawz.
So I’m coming to terms with never regressing, and not starting completely over. I just have to reconfigure my path and make sure bananas are at the other end.