The Weather…and getting from under it

About a month ago, I admitted that I was in over my head.  Not only to myself or a family member. Someone I’d never met, who simply wanted to help.  And she got me on the path to finding a counselor/therapist.  So I started calling offices to get an appointment.  And I left messages.  Then I called.  And left more messages.

I was surprised at how difficult it is just to get help for mental health issues.  I’ve been told that I basically have to brow-beat someone into seeing me, which makes me a little sad.  There’s no shortage of people willing to give me a pill that will cause nausea, blood clots, heart palpitations and death.  But, to actually get help?  No dice cousin.

The ebb and flow of my moods have always been a source of anxiety for me and I’ve always classified myself as “moody.”  It wasn’t debilitating, so I just waited until I felt better.  Then about two months ago, I could barely get out of bed.  I would go home, lay down, and get up when it was time to go back to work the next morning.  One day, I gave thought to the last time I’d actually been up all day and enjoyed myself.  I also thought about the last time I hadn’t spent every spare moment shoving food in my face.  When I couldn’t remember, I decided that it was time to get help.

So now, I’m in the process of begging.  If you hear about a woman kicking in the door of a therapist’s office, just know that it’s me.  My intentions, however, are pure.

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3 responses to “The Weather…and getting from under it

  1. I hate that things are so heavy with you, doll. Keep working to get whatever help you need, and as always, I’m making myself available for chit-chat whenever you need.

  2. I sware I feel your pain…I exploded a couple of months ago after being on a “moody” roller coaster. My job provided free counseling so I ended up going for that and my couselor got me the referral I needed to get “real” help. It’s not magic but it helps.

  3. Knock someone’s door clean off the hinges if you have to! I’m glad you are seeking help. Don’t stop until you get what you need.

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