Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don’t mean nothing honey if it ain’t free, now now.
And feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.
– “Me and Bobby McGee” as sung by Janis Joplin
I’m a firecracker. My personality is kind of huge. Explosive laughter, tight hugs, large smiles – and occasionally, epic cuss outs. But with all that, my needs are actually quite small. Defined, but small. I’m not quite a diva, or high maintenance. I’d prefer cold cereal and cartoons with folks that matter to me, than a fancy dinner with people who I believe to be “alright.” Don’t misunderstand, I think acquaintances are very important, but core people in your life are priceless.
So we arrive at the part of the blog where I express what I need or want in a partner. It’s quite simple, really: them. Not in an all-consuming, “I can’t breathe without you” sense; just that person’s self, without the pretense. Additionally, We live in a world that is so noisy. Someone who is down to get together and allow themselves to briefly become overtaken by quiet? That’s the good stuff right there. I don’t need to be in constant contact with my significant other, nor do I need them to constantly check in with me. But after being apart, I want that need to reconnect to be something serious.
I want intimacy; which, contrary to popular belief, is not the brass ring that comes with sex. Intimacy is being across the room, noticing something, and immediately searching for your partner’s eyes to share a private joke. It’s conversations about personal dreams, fears or frailties that belong strictly to the two of you. It’s the good feeling that swells in you when you see your partner enjoying something that is totally separate and apart from your own personal joy. Sex is the tangible manifestation of all those good feelings, which takes you to where words and glances simply can not. And for real, it’s not the type of thing you want to rush. When you’ve taken the time to establish intimacy with your partner, the “goodness” of the physical act is truly not far behind.
My thoughts on that?
That’s not the kind of thing you find at Big Lots, and that’s why I don’t spend a whole lot of time worried about being single. It’s why I don’t throw my lady parts around like Mardi Gras beads. Sure it’s a “search,” but it’s not a search of desperation. I’m keeping my eyes open. I’ll know it when I see it, and will not force it if I don’t. It’s going to come when it comes. It will be welcomed happily. I believe in holding out for the good stuff.