Are you there, Chocolate? It’s me, Mel.

Bars.

Fountains.

Men.

Chocolate makes everything wonderful.  There’s hardly a time when chocolate isn’t appropriate?  New job? Chocolate.  Fired? Chocolate.  New boo?  Chocolate.  Breakup?  Chocolate.  Its place is firmly sealed in the great circle of life.

Every once in a while I come across someone who can’t eat chocolate (there are people who are severely allergic and it has been linked to triggering migraines).  I just want to give them gigantic full bosom hugs.

It's not.

For realsies.

I went to a cafe with my good friend a few months back, and there was some sort of unsweetened chocolate sauce over fish (I think.  Maybe it was chicken.  Don’t focus on the wrong part of the story.).  If you’re scrunching your nose, don’t feel bad.  I scrunched my nose too.  I was just feeling particularly adventurous that day, so I threw caution to the wind and ordered.  Homie…friend…bruh…words fail me.  If you’ve ever eaten something and thought, “There should really be a  bard sitting by my side to chronicle this,” then you understand where I’m coming from.

Combining mediocre things with chocolate is satisfying; combine awesome things with chocolate, and you run the risk of being sucked into a nexus of awesome.  Chocolate and coffee, when done just right (because you CAN mess this up), is just one of the most amazing things you’ll ever have.  The trick is to get the right balance of the two, letting them slowly waltz your taste buds into ecstasy.  You’re swaying at the thought of it, aren’t you?  You should be.

Far too often, people try to break down our affection for chocolate, scientifically.  A diatribe about neurons and synapses extracts the magic.  Look at a kid having their first piece of chocolate:  the way they hold their mouth in that curious little pucker, trying not to drool (and failing).  That huge grubby grin they have as they ask for another piece – that’s all the explanation you need.  But if you feel inclined to inquire further about why chocolate is so awesome, my answer would be simple: Jah’s love.

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