Awww Marques, can’t you see we need you? Yes, I know that we all marvel at Reggie’s speed (and gluts *drool*…wait…wha…oh), and Deuce’s strength. But my sweet, you deliver. Your unbelievable reach. Your incomparable ball control (okay, I can’t say that without giggling). Are your hands made of crazy glue? Silly putty? Velcro? (Wait, that wouldn’t work on a football, right?) Without you, I lost a dollar on a Foreskins game. Without you, we lost to the Broncos. The fucking Broncos. That will never do.
So you see, we need you. Get well soon.